To say we've had a few weeks from hell would be an understatement. Some of these things will continue for another month due to circumstances beyond our control. It's difficult but in these hard times, I've found some small victories and I need to write them down so as not to forget how far we've come on this journey.
Our Journey, our life now as opposed to before, had been a great tool to lead us on a path to our future. Whether it's DD, TTWD or D/s I'm not sure. Most likely some combination of everything and I know that is ok because it is ours. It's our Journey. No one else has to take this path but us.
So onto the victory part. In and amongst all this strife, there are changes that I can see and feel. I have a temper, the occasional bad attitude and a general laziness when it comes to housework. Since our journey began, I can feel a peace like I've not felt in years. The flare ups from the temper have settled, the attitude is lessened and I have chores. I'm not there yet, but it's a good start. Before the journey, I would have bit the heads off whoever came close to me when I was in this place of stress and things that I could not control. Even yesterday, when things felt at their worst, I did not go into full melt down, full out attitude mode. I let him guide me, ever so swiftly, to peace and control. I came out ok. For once, I did not feel as though I would drown in self pity and despair. He has brought me to the shore of tranquility.
He's changed to and I think that is my biggest victory. He wears his seat belt in the car. I never thought in a million years, I would get him to voluntarily wear a seat belt. He shows me he loves me every day. The fear of him leaving is gone. He's in control. He no longer does things that I feel drive a wedge into our existence together.
The best victory is I'm happy again. I feel loved and wanted. I no longer worry about the little stuff because I don't have to. I'm able to trust again. I no longer have that horrible case of the "un's".
It's our journey, we will take it together. We will learn, we will grow and we will be better because of it.