I'm not sure this was all my fault this time. I know I broke every rule, pushed every boundary and expected a reaction of some kind. He knew what I was doing and refused to react.
What I know now is that I still have trouble letting him lead, letting him guide us through the rough patches. I can't let go. I still try to control everything by being a brat. By pushing and reacting.
To his credit, he refuses to give in to my childish behavior. He leads by being calm and assertive in the face of adversity. He reigns me in when it's possible. He does have control, quietly watching and making notes. He never let me get away with anything, he just refrained from discipline until the issue was all cleared.
We are back on track. The path has been cleared of obstacles and we are steady making progress again. The journey is difficult but worth every moment. I have another meeting in a few hours and even though I'm not looking forward to it, I'm not complaining or dreading it. I'm looking forward to being on the right path with the man of my dreams.
I'm learning. I'm not perfect and it's ok! I'm happy and loved!!