I feel loved and wanted. I feel safe & secure. I feel spoiled & protected. I feel happy. Happy has been hard to find lately and I've realized it was mostly my fault. Once I started taking responsibility for my actions, I became calmer, more sane.
This week of dd has brought out all the firsts. First spanking to break us into the lifestyle. It kind of gave us a base for where we would begin. A kind of clear the air, start a new chapter. The past is the past, all is forgiven and we march on. The first punishment spanking which was well deserved after a few rule breaking moments. Followed by the first swats of "oh no you didn't just do that" after a refusal of punishment. Silly thing was, it wasn't even a spanking I was refusing. That's what I got plus the original punishment.
It wasn't all spanking & punishment though. It was communication and a togetherness we haven't shared in a long while. It was an accountability statement for both of us. It was our way of finding the love we've shared for 20 years.
I'm looking back on this first week, I realize I have a lot of work to do on myself but I know that he is right behind me for support however I may need it. I know he loves me, he tells me everyday. I know he misses me when I'm away as I miss him. He shows me everyday. I will do the best I can to make him happy and show him how much I love him too.
Rumor has it that maintenance starts next week. I'll let you know how that goes. I do know that I won't refuse. See I am learning!!!