He started by telling me there would be no trouble for things said in the sit down. I wasn't so sure I believed that at first. We discussed our first week, what went right, what went wrong and how we planned to improve. I said I had been a brat because I was upset with him. I felt ignored and rather than tell him so, I just acted out of spite. I was less than submissive. I was more downright defiant at times. He apologized for getting lazy. He knew he should have corrected an attitude or tone but he didn't. He said he knew when I was being a brat but chose to ignore like he used to. He promised that would change. (Ut oh).
I didn't tell him the other stuff. I feel guilty but I didn't want to push too far. It wasn't a big deal, so I'm just going to let it go until it eats away at me so much, I explode in a whole confession saga. (Or he reads this blog - whichever comes first). It's hard to say I disappointed you again. I know I wasn't supposed to but I did it anyway. Ok so here it is. It's really not that bad. The first time in a week I saw Facebook was totally by accident. I did not mean to be there, I was playing a game. But what I saw was an error message with my account. I didn't even check it out. Quickly as it came on, it was off again. The second time (here's the guilty part) was to find out what the error was or if there was one. I didn't stay long, I didn't even scroll but having it there on the screen was comforting. All my friends and family tucked happily away in one place.
So the meeting was a success. No rule changes this week because we both still need to work on what's already in place. We both need to step up to the plate again and swing for all it's worth. Nothing less than home runs.
Then he reaches into the cabinet of horrors and pulls out the hairbrush. Really? I thought we were just talking here. He gently explains that this will put us back on track. Help me remember who's in charge. Help me focus on changing my attitude and tone. Just a little touch-up.
I was hesitant about crossing his lap. He gave me time (not much tho) to set myself in place. I felt vulnerable and safe. This one wouldn't be because he is mad or disappointed with me. This one is because he loves me.