Well I asked for it. I asked for this new lifestyle. I guess part of me(ok most of me) fantasized over the actuality of it. No stopping the train now, he's fully on board and more aware than ever of the things I/we need to work on. Up until last night I felt I held all the cards. Controlling the situation, steering the conversations my way. Until .....
He says we need to talk. Scared but I follow him to the bedroom. He explains that we start tonight with a kind of clear the air, introduction spanking. WHaaat? Head spinning, but listening to him. Telling me when and how to prepare. It would come later that night.
I prepared as expected. Doing everything he asked, everything required. I waited for what I knew as coming.
He was nervous, I was nervous. All fours, not bare (whew). I think he tried everything in his stash. It wasn't long, it was firm. It will be remembered.
And then a full day of DD. Our first real first whole day.
After last night, I was trying everything to be good. I blew it by breakfast. I don't know why I let that child get under my skin like that. She snapped at me, I snapped at her and my day began in trouble.
We spent the day together. Talking, laughing. Just being the couple we used to be. Happy with each other. Blew it again as I yelled at him for his driving skills. Basically I scared him, he almost hit another car. Oops - knew immediately after it happened that I had been disrespectful and rude. I apologized many time in the next few hours. Still, we walked and talked, happy just to be together. There have been many years where those simple outbursts from me would ruin a week or two. Today, there was peace.
When we got home this evening the dreaded "we need to talk". Butterflies flying inside my stomach. Nerves taking their toll. He asked about my day. I confessed everything. He was there, not much to hide. I was ashamed I couldn't do better for him on the first real day of dd. I was embarrassed. I knew I'd asked for this & even I couldn't follow through for one day. Scared but willing to accept my punishment, I listened to the lecture. Then 30 minutes in the corner with horrible awful uncomfortable Star Trek underwear ONLY!! (The kind that go where non has gone before) He said I did well for the first day. He was proud there weren't more incidents. He knows me so well.
Corner time sucked. I had too much time to think. To much time to wonder if he was really just putting me there to get me from behind. I was fidgety, wiggled way to much. Not to mention the shorts running up. Oh how I hate the ones that ride up. (Like I said, he knows me well). I'm thankful he gave me time to reflect on my behavior in such a way. Last nights introduction wasn't to be forgotten either as it totally reminded me from time to time.
I'm happy. I'm content. I'm loved.
Oh he lectured me that I hadn't kissed him or hugged him all day & that had to change. I was not to forget to do these things. I love that man!!!