I've decided the rules are like that electric fence. When they are enforced, like the fence, they deliver a strong negative force you'd think twice to go near again. When they aren't enforced, it's as if the fence is lacking power. You know it's there, but when tested, nothing negative occurs. No jolt to bring you back to the proper side of things.
We've been in our own little storm today. Forces outside our own creating a tornado of angry and hurt feelings. Not at each other but at this particular force. I guess we all have them. Problem is, the fences are down. I've tested them. (I see you rolling your eyes at me but it had to be done). I'm stressed, unhappy by these events and feeling unloved and unwanted. (The un's). I hate these feeling more than the thought of trouble I'm causing myself. The storm has knocked out power to my fence. All attempts to cross boundaries have been successful so far today.
I know this storm will pass. We get to spend all day tomorrow storm free but I'm not sure the fence will be mended in time. How long will it take to mend the fence this time? I'm not feeling as strong as I was once and I need him to be solid in the storms.
Ugh - I dislike feeling this vunerable and needy sometimes. I just want to be held and sheltered. I want him to be my umbrella not shivering in the cold wet rain with me.
This journey will continue, the path goes on. This time I'm bringing waders!! I'm learning to endure through the mud and muck.