tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990976127339204216.post6960501978782255244..comments2017-01-28T17:19:05.707-05:00Comments on Fonzi & Erika: My Husband/Best Friend/HoHErika Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03377107028080937649noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990976127339204216.post-47306860189863968682014-07-22T20:02:31.785-04:002014-07-22T20:02:31.785-04:00Thanks. It bothers me the most when it's just ...Thanks. It bothers me the most when it's just us at dinner or on a weekend. Most times I try to find someone to talk to. Erika Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03377107028080937649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990976127339204216.post-79632895955728551762014-07-22T20:01:16.132-04:002014-07-22T20:01:16.132-04:00Thanks. When it's going right, it just feels s...Thanks. When it's going right, it just feels so right!Erika Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03377107028080937649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990976127339204216.post-39697057423801407742014-07-22T20:00:25.591-04:002014-07-22T20:00:25.591-04:00Thanks Willie. It's nice to know I'm not t...Thanks Willie. It's nice to know I'm not the only one with a communication problem. After 20 years, you'd think I'd be used to it but you can never get used to silence. Some day maybe perhaps. Erika Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03377107028080937649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990976127339204216.post-47652534626346574842014-07-21T20:30:00.116-04:002014-07-21T20:30:00.116-04:00Erika, What a sweet post. I know what you mean ab...Erika, What a sweet post. I know what you mean about the communication - if you don't start a conversation there won't be one. But recognizing this is half the battle. I hope the next four months are even better!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08858642432841882311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990976127339204216.post-23362553967476208862014-07-21T16:31:07.204-04:002014-07-21T16:31:07.204-04:00Good for you guys. So many people throw in the tow...Good for you guys. So many people throw in the towel when things get hard but you didn't. You took a risk and you both win. I'm sorry about the conversation thing. That must be hard and lonely at times. I hope that changes for you. Wishing you both blessings upon blessings. ZBGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03137229725970453374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990976127339204216.post-45310806630629993742014-07-21T12:34:11.079-04:002014-07-21T12:34:11.079-04:00The vulnerable needy thing is what I struggle with...The vulnerable needy thing is what I struggle with, as well. But lowering walls is intimacy, right? Sounds like you have a beautiful thing going!Renee Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01414212384941364401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990976127339204216.post-4510716926242305852014-07-21T08:30:10.793-04:002014-07-21T08:30:10.793-04:00Okay 4th time's a charm right? LOL. I have de...Okay 4th time's a charm right? LOL. I have decided to write this elsewhere and copy and paste it in case blogger eats it --AGAIN!<br /><br />This post is wonderful! Well the parts about you and Fonzi. As for the communication, I so understand. Even now almost 2 years later there are times when I sit in the same room as Barney and think, " Are you going to talk about the elephant in the room? Do you not KNOW there is an elephant in the room?". It is still difficult at times for me, although it does get easier, to swallow my pride, my hurt, and yes that huge ball of cotton that seems to have become lodged in my throat somehow to bring up the elephant in the room! I read a couple of things from 2 different books, both based on ttwd. The first came from a man. A 'professional' top. He said, women ARE the communicators in the world. It is YOUR strength. USE IT! The second came from a submissive woman in a M/s relationship. Basically she said, yes we are submissive, but we have equal responsibility to make our relationships thrive. If there is something that needs to be discussed it is just as much our responsibility as their's to bring it up. I know right? SUCKS! I will tell you though, when the wind is blowing in from the west, the stars are aligned and the gods are smiling down at us, Barney will now, sometimes, initiate the conversations! Oh happy days! It did take a very, very, VERY long time for this. BUT it is possible. And good news, Fonzi picked up on the physical stuff pretty quickly, so that is covered, maybe he will thrive on this sooner than Barney?<br /><br />I found with Barney and myself that our communication morphed too. We went from the begining discussing nuts and bolts: what we needed; what we wanted/desired, to the emotions surrounding those needs;to the fear of exposing ourselves. It took Barney a long time to look inside of himself and see what made him tick. Often when we had conversations surrounding those sorts of things, I mostly asked him questions. " Do you think it could be....?". Basically with this communication stuff, you are creating and learning a new language. You have to figure our how to talk to him so he can actually 'hear' you. This may mean changing how you word things. And until he figures out how to reach you, you have to ask for clarification over and over again and not assume you understand what he is saying ( because man oh man, men really aren't the communicators! LOL).<br /><br />Blah, Blah, Blah willie.....So happy for you though Erika that your dive into Dd is bringing you closer. The road ahead will be difficult but know that you are not unique in your struggles. You are not anymore difficult nor is Fonzi than many of us! And that we are here to listen and suggest. AND probably mess things up for you too! LOL<br /><br />williewilliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01907855123777628267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990976127339204216.post-78351364497688407342014-07-20T17:23:42.917-04:002014-07-20T17:23:42.917-04:00Thanks for being my shoulder to lean on when I'...Thanks for being my shoulder to lean on when I've needed it. I could not be on this journey without the amazing friends I've made. Erika Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03377107028080937649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990976127339204216.post-75602023819986864002014-07-20T16:51:03.874-04:002014-07-20T16:51:03.874-04:00I am so happy you guys are on this journey togethe...I am so happy you guys are on this journey together!!!!!!!<br />honeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com